#im throwing a fried egg on that BITCH

[transgender-catboy]

Ugh got hit with a wave of sadness so I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in a burger

[claritys-silly-things]

It’s that time again yall

Headcanons! It’s a long one this time

Emetophobia tw

- (I think I can classify this as modern) Rip sodapop curtis you would’ve loved saying “I’m just a girl 🎀”

- Soda never liked haircuts. When he was a small feral child his long hair would get tangled a lot, but he’s tender headed as FUCK so he would scream and cry when his momma brought the brush out. Darry put sodas hair into braids sometimes just for fun and soda didn’t mind bc it kept his hair from getting tangled, and then it didn’t hurt to brush. He’s always had really soft hair and it grows super fast.

- Jealous little soda asksjks (this was about soda being jealous over pony getting attention as a baby but I don’t wanna edit the original ramble I wrote down)

- When ponyboy was born he just kind of STARED. No crying or anything just 👁️👁️. Even Darry cried when he was born. Soda cried a lot.

- Adding on, Darry and pony were pretty quiet babies. They still cried for food and stuff sometimes but not a lot. Soda was a LOUDDD crier, and a frequent one too. It was the type of crying that sounds like it hurts the baby’s throat cause they’re shrieking their head off. Also soda would cry for, like, the first year of his life if he was ever handed to his dad.

- If Johnny survived the fire and got a wheelchair, he’d be running over people’s feet. Constantly. Just because. Or bc they asked for it. Either way, the moment he gets a hang of that wheelchair it is OVER for yall. And probably before that too.

- Ponyboy gets the same. Goddamn. Thing. At EVERY restaurant. Partly because it scares him to order anything else, partly because he’s picky asf. He makes sure it’s there on the menu and has his order memorized by now. “Chicken tenders, fries, and a Pepsi please.” He’s tried to ask for other things in the past like eggs, cuz he likes those, but the moment they asked him “how would you like them done” he just stared at Darry because he didn’t know what all the different types of eggs were, and now he’s scared bc he’s taking longer, and the server is still there, so he just got sunny side up eggs and they were slimy and he wanted to go home and cry (based on a true story sadly)

- Basically pony has anxiety and probably autism (so me)

- Ponyboy likes avocado. That’s it that’s the headcanon. It’s like one of the only healthy-ish things he’ll eat.

- Soda gets suuuper nauseous really easily, and pony gets carsick on occasion. So the first time pony went to a theme park, his family was scared that he would throw up like soda. They go on a ride and he’s like “yall im fine dawg.” Soda is jealous bc pony can go on rides unaffected (soda will still go on rides anyways, he just throws up afterwards)

- Pony is the most PALE ASS BITCH you’ve ever seen. He burns soo easily. His face gets red really quickly, no matter what’s going on. The only time he gets the slightest bit darker is when he burns and tans. Two-bit has been like “you ain’t white you translucent” multiple times because in the right lighting you can see pony’s veins. It’s even worse because soda and Darry tan so wonderfully, and pony looks like he had an allergic reaction if he doesn’t reapply his sunscreen when he’s supposed to. I feel like Mrs Curtis is the reason for this, she didn’t tan. Mr Curtis did tho.

- Pony has mild (severe) ocd

- Marcia’s last name is smith she is white-Hispanic on one side and Native American on the other thank you for coming to my TED talk

- Marcia is Cuban and Native American

- Marcia’s full name is Marcia smith that’s it that’s the end

It’s funny cuz I listed these things like three times and just forgot about the other two

- Twobit is Brazilian end headcanon

- Mr Curtis had autism and Mrs Curtis had inattentive adhd

- Mr Curtis was half Mexican on his mom’s side and half Irish on his dad’s side. Mrs Curtis was full Italian-American.

- Darrys the typa guy to make pony and soda turn off a show or movie if it talks about possession or like demonic stuff/soul stealing stuff

- (Modern au) Darry will get a text from ponyboy about something, like “can I go in your room rq” and he sees it but doesn’t actually open the text message until later and like, two hours later he’ll just respond “no” and thinks it’s the funniest shit ever

[the-acid-pear]

these eggplants and rice im eating fuck so hard im actually gonna share my recipe

Two fat fucking Eggplants cut in slices, thick ones. Leave them on salt for a whlie (i lef them for 2-3 hours because it was too early to cook at the time, but maybe less time will do). I removed the water and threw them in a pot for them to boil. Simultaneously, I put rice to cook.

The eggplants will be ready before the rice, since most of the water was gone and they were already soft. Once i fished one out and was able to cut it with a fork i deemed it was ready, and threw it back in the water to prepare the mixture to bread them. This went on to prove a questionable idea because while some of them needed soaking a lil further a lot just crumbled to pieces, but i liked that myself.

For the mixture, usually you use eggs, but i had one single baby ass egg, so i decided to use Flour and Water. I could not give you the measurements, you just have to nail it, make it reach the texture of beaten eggs. If the water is not enough then the mixture wont fully stick to the eggplants. To this mixture, too, i added salt and provenzal (dry garlic and parsley). From there, i simply soaked the eggplants before throwing them into a different bowl with breadcrumbs to bread them.

After i did all of them, i simply fried them until they were pretty and gold. And i also burnt my toe because the fork i was using was mildly wet and that made the bitch go nuts.

As for the rice, i used a good amount of cumin, some thing im not quite sure what is, but i believe is pimenton. I used very little. No salt was added because i threw that when i cooked it.

Additionally, i included lemon to the whole thing, because i do that to every meal, but that's up to you.

The end result is a very soft eggplant with a side of crispiness and a very flavorful rice that just ties it all together <33

[neonstarz]

uuuuuhhhh ok here we go! These are for Fried Egg, Samuel, and I’m incredibly curious about Opal so this is also for them! Number wise, 6,9,26, 32, and 50!! Totally not asking about their fashion sense because I feel like they all are incredibly stylish and I want to be like some of them what noooo ahahah

LOOOOL 69 <3 also ur incredibly valid in wanting to look like some of them i try and give my ocs as much drip as humanly possible

FRIED EGG:

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Fried Egg was kind of .. absolutely incredibly average in school. She kept her head down and tried to get good grades and not cause trouble. She dropped out when she ran away, though. Albert, the guy who owns the diner, is trying to enroll her in school again though. She liked art class and hated math.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

animals in general don't really love fried egg but bacon is the exception 

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

copy n pasted from another ask: she goes like >:) a lot. she is not a super expressive person tho and like its kind of hard to tell what mood shes in most of the time. she doesn't actively suppress her emotions, when she ran away she promised herself she wouldn't lie about herself and how she felt, but she just naturally isn't very expressive. 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like? 

she wears a lot of band t shirts and black jeans. that is pretty much her entire wardrobe. she has a few things that Albert bought when she first started living in the diner that are like.. stereotypical cishet girl clothing and while fried egg would not be caught dead wearing them she refuses to throw them out because they were a gift and it makes her happy thinking about how little hesitation Albert had before he just started taking care of her. When she has extra money she’ll shop at hot topic but for the most part she thrifts her clothes. She didn't bring a whole lot of money with her when she ran away and Albert’s diner does not make an insane amount so she is not really rolling in dough. She wears a tank top and pajama pants to sleep! She doesn’t wear makeup, it irritates her skin. Her hair is about waist length and neon yellow ! She has bangs that she lets grow out so they cover her eyes for the most part.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

KJASDFKLS she already did that so im just gonna. tell you what she brought with her when she ran away. The only clothing she brought was a flannel and pair of jeans, and her emotional support black hoodie. She brought about $200 with her, enough for 2 weeks of food and a bit of public transportation. She brought some beef jerky and those tuna cans that come with crackers and plastic spoons and an apple with her too, just enough food to keep her going for the first few days before she could stop and go shopping. she brought her phone with, after factory resetting it. Although if she had to leave and take one bag of stuff with her NOW she would also bring Egg, some food for Egg, and some creamer packets from the diner. 

SAMUEL:

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

when samuel was at the oakley academy of alchemy he was a very different person. he was very withdrawn and focused on being the perfect kid the perfect student. he didn't love the academy, it was a very conservative school full of other stuffy rich kids trying to be the best. a very competitive environment. he didn’t enjoy any of his language arts classes, but he did like basic/intermediate general alchemy, history of fine arts, and resource collection and identification. samuel dropped out of the university in his 2nd year, when he was 16. 

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

samuel’s SO fuckin good with animals. he has a dog!! an Australian shepherd, named Bo!! animals just naturally trust samuel and like to be around him.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

samuel likes to hum and sing under his breath when he's happy!!! 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

he likes to wear knit sweaters and those super fancy extravagant old timey white button ups, with the flared sleeves and ruffles on the collar and everything. except he wears them in a cool and gay way not in a like. im part of high society way. he also likes to wear dresses sometimes especially for parties with dancing. he likes how skirts flare out. big brand clothing stores don't exist, people get their clothes from tailors, so he just gets his clothing from the local tailor. he does knit his own sweaters though!!

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

what is it with me and characters who run away god. anyway when samuel ran away he brought a fuck ton of gold, enough food to last a week, his bow and arrow, a photo of his parents (that he later threw in a river because fuck those bitches), his hunting knife, a journal, and a few pencils. i think if he had to get up and leave now tho, he just... wouldn't. he's built a life in the tiny town in the far lands, he’s healing, he's found a family and he’s in love, i don't think he could bring himself to leave. 

OPAL:

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

she was kind of shit in school. she managed to get good enough grades to get into medical school, although she dropped out, but she caused a lot of trouble and tended to get in trouble a lot. she was kind of neutral on school. she liked anatomy classes a lot, especially the ones that involved dissecting cadavers. she didn’t like ela though. 

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

animals do NOT trust her. vibes are RANCID

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

she has this.. little smirk she does. her expression of emotions is always kind of lowkey though she tries to keep this air of like,,,,, neutrality and kind of stay formal and cool 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

she dresses SO fucking fancy. her clothes are from like. idk where do rich people shop?? im sexy and poor. she likes what she wears!!! she wears those weird old timey pajamas with the fuckin stripes and embroidered intials to sleep. she wears makeup!! she likes black lipstick and red eyeshadow. her hair’s brown and she has a buzzcut 

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

money <3 she has found that like. really all she needs in life to get what she wants is just insane amounts of money so she would just. bring money.

[sofhyuck]

Greasy Baby

Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))

greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least

like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls

but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it

him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)

he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)

there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town

the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school

he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school

and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town

maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there

but somehow you find yourself at the school

the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques

leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider

sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 

so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school

your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring

surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes

so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)

on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends

but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????

you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past

he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now

so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away

he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off

you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co

and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know

and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter

but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh

and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.

so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????

oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d

so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!

as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves

the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him

but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail

meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k

so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit

and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?

well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’

and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 

but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...

hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng

so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame

and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves

but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge

he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy

meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier

after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 

but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 

and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-

but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier

you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb

when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time

suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 

in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly

hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???

and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh

in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests

and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back

you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe

and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d

y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you

like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone

so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back

until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all

and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s

and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike

but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you

and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl

it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out

tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day

and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face

but...boy does not and will not let up

and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll

he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit

until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him

but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps

hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 

he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now

the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not

and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well

bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove

anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz

you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy

your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever

so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??

but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’

you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???

so now y’all are dating woo!!!

he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working

at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((

and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((

you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family

even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards

waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…

sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe

you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh

ahem anyways enough of that

other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh

you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road

(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)

and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to

trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young

[igottoomuchwriting]

Secret Agent Jack “Oblivious” Kelly

“What’s with that smile, Crutchie?” Jack asked as he walked into their shared apartment. Crutchie was sitting on the couch with his leg rested on the coffee table. He had been smiling brightly at his phone when Jack walking in, but didn’t even bother to look up from his phone.

“Oh, just my boyfriend,” he responded. Jack snapped his head up from his shoe laces and turned his head to look at his best friend.

“Yer what now?” Crutchie looked up from his phone with a confused look.

“My boyfriend?”

“Since when have ya had a boyfriend?” Crutchie just stared blankly at him before turning back to his phone.

“A while.”

“Okay,” Jack sighed. “Who is yer boyfriend?”

“Someone of the male species.” He obviously wasn’t going to give this information up, and Jack was actually shocked. His best friend had a boyfriend, didn’t tell him when he got one, and now won’t tell him who it is?

“Do I know them?”

“Oh, most definitely,” Crutchie laughed. “For a while, actually.”

“Then who is it, Crutch?” Crutchie said nothing. He stood up from the couhc and grabbed his crutch before turning and shooting Jack a smile.

“You’ll see.”

---

“‘You’ll see’?!” Jack almost screeched. David flinched at the noise, resisting the urge to kick Jack out of his apartment. “Who the hell just says ‘you’ll see’ and walks away?”

“Apparently Crutchie does,” David stated. Jack groaned and flopped down on the couch, throwing his head in David’s lap and covering his eyes with his forearm.

“How could he do this to his best friend?” David hummed.

Unknown to Jack, David knew who Crutchie was dating. In fact, everyone in their group did. Though, when Crutchie told the group chat, Jack had just turned off his phone to get on a flight, and by the time he turned it back on, the conversation had passed.

Jack was the type of person who would ignore past messages in a group chat if it’s not urgent, and no one had told him it was urgent. This resulted in everyone in the group knowing who Crutchie’s boyfriend was, and Crutchie had texting them in a secret group chat (that they deleted immediately after due to guilt) to not tell Jack.

With how much Crutchie was considered a ray of sunshine, he was a real asshole when he wanted to be

“I’ve got it!” Jack exclaimed. David jumped as his boyfriend flew from his lap, cursing in his head. If he continued with this, David was tempted to just break up with him.

“What?” David sighed.

“I’ll spy on ‘im! He can’t hide it too much, right?” David stared at his over-excited boyfriend with a look of disbelief.

“You cannot spy on Crutchie, Jack.”

“An’ why not?”

“That’s a breach of his privacy!” he clipped. “Not to mention, he may lose trust in you.” Jack glared at David, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I already lost my trust for him, so I believe this is only fair.” David stared at him in shock. His boyfriend, whose spirit animal is an over excited cat, thought that spying on his best friend was they way to find out who Crutchie was dating.

“In what world is disrespecting someone’s privacy fair?”

“My world, Davey,” Jack smiled. He leaned over and gave David a peck on the lips before leaping off the couch.

“I gotta go. Love ya!” With that, he was gone.

David took a deep breath and placed his head in his hands, letting out a deep sign.

This was going to be a while.

---

One thing Jack hated about Crutchie--probably the only thing-- was that he got up early in the morning. Very early. It’s part of the reason his nickname was “ray of sunshine”. Sometimes he made breakfast for the two of them, which Jack loved, but the only downside was that he didn’t know how to be quiet.

Jack groaned as he heard a pan drop into the sink with a loud crash. He may have gone to sleep at two in the morning, but that didn’t bother Crutchie at all.

Jack grudgingly sat up in his bed, though he kept his blanket cocoon wrapped around himself as he grabbed his phone and moved out of his bedroom.

He found Crutchie humming in the kitchen, cutting up broccoli as eggs fried in the frying pan behind him. There were two coffee cups set on the counter right next to some plates that Crutchie had already laid out.

Jack walked into the kitchen and grabbed the mug closest to him, making his way to the coffee maker. Crutchie turned around and gave him a smile.

“Good morning, grumpy pants,” he hummed. Jack glared at him as the coffee brewed, not answering the blonde boy. Crutchie laughed and shook his head. He stepped over to the stove, barely using the counter as support, sprinkling broccoli into the omlette as well shredded cheese. “Breakfast should be ready soon, so go and brood in the dining room until it’s done.” Jack nodded his head and quickly grabbed his freshly poured cup of coffee and the sweetner he needed before sitting down, tiredly staring at his phone.

It was nice to just sit in quiet with Crutchie, where neither of them felt the need to talk. It had taken years for them to get to that point of their friendship, but it was worth waiting for that to happen.

“Oh!” Crutchie yelled over the noise of the frying pan cooling down in the sink. “I forgot to tell you that I’m going out to coffee in a bit.” Jack shot him a confused look.

“With who?”

“Why does it matter?” he mocked. Jack got up from where he was sitting and walked over to Crutchie.

“Cause I gotta make sure that my best friend isn’ goin’ ta go out and get himself kidnapped.” Crutchie rolled his eyes at Jack’s antics. He has always been protective of Crutchie since they have met in high school, always checking in on him when he went on dates or when he was somewhere new that may not be 100% accessible to him. Jack walked out of the kitchen, omelettes in hand, and Crutchie followed in suite.

“I’ll be fine Jack. I know they aren’t going to kidnap me, they would have nothing to gain from it.”

“Kidnapping a cute blonde? I beg to differ.” Crutchie shot him a knowing look and Jack shut up.

“I’ll be fine Jack.”

Soon after Crutchie left, Jack franticly texted Race.

To raceSLUT: hey do u work today

From raceSLUT: yeah y?

To raceSLUT: crutch is goin to a coffee date and i wanna see who he is with

Race didn’t respond right away. He assumed he had either been at work already, getting ready for work, or distracted by Spot. He is rarely away from his phone.

From raceSLUT: jack r u askin me to spy on ur roommate???

To raceSLUT: yes

From raceSLUT: how much

To raceSLUT: are u askin for $$??

From raceSLUT: staring at ur roommate will take time outta my work day

To raceSLUT: u wont be workin anyway

From raceSLUT: “if your good at something never do it for free”

To raceSLUT: i will give u $10 if you never quote joker again

From raceSLUT: deal

Jack sighed and rubbed his face. Race was a douchebag sometimes, but he honestly was a good guy. Even if he drove Jack up the wall sometimes.

His phone buzzed unexpedicately.

From raceSLUT: i will revoke that 10$ if u txt spot rn that he is a short bitch

To raceSLUT: what? What r u 2 doing??????

From raceSLUT: dont question just do it

Not wanting to be out ten dollars, Jack opened up the text messages between his brother and him.

To lil’ bitch: just a daily reminder that ur a lil fucking bitch - ur loving brother

From lil’ bitch: Did race put you up to this

To lil’ bitch: whether he did or not doesnt mask the truth spottie

---

It turns out Crutchie had gone to get coffee with David. When Race told him that, Jack became a little bit pouty. He knew his boyfriend and his best friend were good friends and hung out with just the two of them from time to time, but everytime they did, Jack always got a little jealous. Not in a toxic way, no. He even talked to a counselor about it to make sure that he didn’t become so jealous that he was being controlling and toxic.

Everyone knew he loved both of them, and even though he got jealous, it was not just because David was hanging out with other people, but that the ‘other people’ were his best friend.

And he wanted to hang out with his best friend. But he also wanted to hang out with his boyfriend.

“Jack, this is why Crutchie and I never tell you we are going to hang out,” David sighed. Jack had went over the David’s house after Racetrack told him that he was the one Crutchie went out with coffee with. When he showed up, David had been laying down on the couch, reading, and Jack just walked over and laid down on top of him, burying his face in David’s neck.

“Let me brood in piece, Davey,” Jack mumbled.

“Jack, you’re laying on my book. I would let you brood in piece if you hadn’t interrupted my peace.” Jack lifted his head and smiled widely at David.

“I’m way more peaceful.” Before David could reply, Jack leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. David sighed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Jack’s lower back.

A few moments later, they pulled apart.

“Seriously, you should move a bit so I can get my book. I don’t want to bend the pages.” Jack groaned and lifted his upper body off of David. He quickly grabbed the book and Jack laid back down as David checked the pages, marking his spot in the book.

“So,” David began, “how did you know that Crutchie and I met up together?” Jack hummed and placed a kiss on his neck.

“I had Race tell me who he went to the coffee shop with.” David groaned and smacked the back of Jack’s head. Jack lifted his head up and glared at David. “Hey! Why’d ya do that?”

“You dragged Race into your creepy spying?”

“It’s not creepy!”

“That’s exactly what this is, Jack.”

“Well, he still won’t tell me who he is dating, so I took matters into my own hands.” David threw his head back in annoyance.

“Won’t he be mad when he figures out?”

“Nah,” Jack hummed. “He threatened ta do the same thing when you and I got together.”

“You didn’t tell him we got together?” Jack awkwardly laughed and pushed himself up on his arms.

“Yeah, I uh, was nervous because you was the first boy that I have been with?” David just stared at him. He opened his mouth to respond, but closed his eyes, changing his mind.

“We can talk about that another time. But I still stand by that you should not be stalking your best friend.”

“It’s gon’ happen, Dave.” This conversation was getting nowhere. David loves his boyfriend very much, but he knew when he had to end a conversation before it became a fight.

David put his hand on the back of Jack’s head and pulled him back into the hug, humming.

“Alright. But can you please stop getting jealous when Crutchie and I hang out?”

“...that I can work on.”

---

It was rare that Jack’s whole friend group had a chance to get together. Everyone was pursuing different majors and had different levels of homework and tests that they had to do. They finally had a Saturday where everyone was free. What do the do with that free day?

Drink to forget in Jack and Crutchie’s apartment, obviously.

“Jack,” David groaned. Jack laughed and took another shot, Racetrack cheering him on. “Jack, you have work tomorrow. You are going to be hung over.”

“Oh, quit grippin’,” he mumbled. “I ain’t even tha’ drunk yet.”

“Yet-”

“He’s fine, Mouth,” Spot laughed. “Let the man be stupid, he’s a dumb shit.”

“I side with Davey,” Crutchie spoke up. He was sitting with Finch on the couch, legs thrown over the boy so that there was more room on the floor for people to sit. For some reason, most of their friends perfer sitting on the ground.

“You should take some shots, Dave!” Racetrack hollored. Jack cheered along Blink and Mush, trying to peer pressure his boyfriend. David rolled his eyes.

“I’m these guys’ ride, I can’t drink anything.”

“Leave ‘im alone, guys,” Finch laughed. Jack turned towards him and watched Crutchie shake his head at them and hide his head in Finch’s shoulder. Jack smiled at that. When he first met Crutchie, he was very against touch. It was mainly his leg, but he wasn’t very keen on people touching him in general, so to avoid this, he wouldn’t touch anyone else either. Now, he was loved leaning into all his friends, giving hugs, everything that he could at every chance that he got.

“Jack?” Crutchie broke him out of his drunken thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Can you go get me my phone? I forgot it in my room.”

“Why can’t ya get it?” He gave Jack a look as if he was the stupidest man in the world.

“I just got comphy.” Jack groaned but got up anyway.

It wasn’t hard for him to find Crutchie’s phone. He always kept it on his charger when he left his room.

Just as he took Crutchie’s phone off the charger it clicked in his mind that he could find who his boyfriend is. Crutchie didn’t keep a lock on his phone because he never felt a need to hide anything from anyone.

Quickly, Jack opened up his messages, just so he could find out who this mystery boy is, once and for all.

For being best friends with Crutchie for years, Jack realized that he had never actually looked at Crutchie’s phone. Maybe to play a game when he needed something to do with his hands while he watched TV, but that was about it. He never realized that Crutchie didn’t have names under his phone.

They were all fucking emojis.

There was a car emoji, some buildings and a sky line, pink hearts, red hearts, green hearts. He had so many messages too, so Jack couldn’t even narrow down who would be the boyfriend.

“Jack!” he heard Finch yell. “What’s takin’ so long? I’m gettin’ antsy!”

“It ain’t even yer phone, Finch!” Jack hollored back. He scrolled through all the texts with hearts in the name. One had pink hearts, one had red hearts, one had green hearts and a bird…

I wonder what mine is? His drunken mind decided to chime in. Giving up on his mission, Jack quickly whipped his phone out and texted Crutchie a meme that he has been waiting to show the boy, and waited for the text to appear on his screen.

When it did, Jack quickly clicked on the message and looked at the top of the screen. The only emoji there was an angry emoji with a cowboy hat on top of his head. He was mad but also… a little touched?

“Jack, did you pass out?” David called. Jack cursed and closed out of the message app, quickly rushing out of the room.

“Sorry, got distracted,” he hummed, tossing the phone to Crutchie. Finch caught it for him, as his hand was in Finch’s hair, lazily playing with his brown locks.

“It’s been five minutes but yer already behind, cowboy!” Race tossed him an unopened beer bottle, and the rest of the night was history.

---

Jack was losing his mind. It has been weeks of him spying on Crutchie, trying to find out who his boyfriend was, and he wasn’t anywhere closer to finding out. David had guessed that Crutchie knew what Jack was doing and was trying to hide anything that pointed to his boyfriend, but Jack shut that down. He knew that he had been sneaky enough where even if Crutchie had his suspicions, he wouldn’t be able to plant anything on Jack.

He was reaching the end of his line. He was so close to just beggin on his knees for Crutchie to tell him who his boyfriend is. He just wants to know who it is so that he can make sure that they don’t hurt Crutchie, and if he does, he knows who to hurt.

“You good, Jack?” Crutchie asked. Jack was lying face down on the couch and only gave a groan in response. Crutchie raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

With a sigh, he walked over to Jack and sat down on his legs, as Jack had left no room on the couch for him to sit.

“What’s bothering ya?” Jack turned his head so that he could see Crutchie out of the corner of his eye.

“Who’s yer boyfriend?”

“That’s what your upset about?” Jack scowled.

“Well don’ say it like that!”

“Jack, you’ve met him.”

“Well,” Jack sighed. “I still don’t know who it is!” Crutchie laughed and patted his back. Before he could say anything, his voice chimed. Jack recognized it has a bird chirp. It wasn’t long ago that Crutchie had changed his ringtone to that. Jack never really understood why, but he thought that Crutchie was just going through a phase that involved nature.

Crutchie started laughing hysterically and Jack looked back at him in concern.

“Good news, Kelly.” He hopped off Jack’s legs and grabbed his crutch, shooting Jack a smile. “He’s here.”

Jack shot up and stared at him with wide, scared eyes.

“He’s what?!” There was a knock on the door. Jack shot up and watched as Crutchie walked over to the door and open it up.

“Hey babe,” Crutchie warmly greeted.

“Hey.” He recognized that voice. Quickly, Jack marched over and looked over Crutchie’s shoulder to see who the mystery man is, once and for all.

“Finch?!” Finch eyes snapped to Jack’s, wide in surprise and confusion. “You’re Crutchie’s boyfriend?”

“...Yeah?” he asked, looking back at Crutchie, who still had a bright, mocking smile one his face. “I thought everyone knew?”

“Jack here missed the message of us announcing it,” Crutchie explained. He leaned into Finch, who immediatly wrapped his arm around his waist, while turning his body towards Jack. “We’ve been very obvious about it.”

Jack stared at the couple, processing everything he knew. What were the signs? Crutchie had said it was someone he knew. Were there signs that he should have noticed?

“The birds!” he exclaimed. This time, both Crutchie and Finch gave him a confused look.

“What birds?” Crutchie questioned.

“Yer name for him in your phone has a bird emoji, and yer text message ringtone is a finch noise!” Jack threw his arms in the air. “How did I not know?!”

“Jack,” Crutchie hissed, as if he had revealed something secret.

“Aw,” Finch cooed, pulling Crutchie closer against his body. “You has a speical ringtone set for me?” Crutchie mumbled something, but looked off to the side, avoiding eye contact with both boys.

“When did you guys get together?”

“A few months ago,” Crutchie answered, still looking down at the ground.

“Yeah, we texted the group chat about it. I thought you had seen it.” Jack gave him a confused look.

“I don’ remember seeing a text like that?”

“That’s because you didn’t.” Crutchie finally looked back up to his best friend. “You were on a plane back from Santa Fe, so you didn’t get the messages. When you had landed, the conversation was over, and you don’t like looking back through messages. Therefore, you missed the announcment.”

“Wait, so everyone knew?!” Finch and Crutchie both nodded their heads. Jack glared at the couple before grumbling and pulling out his phone. “I’m calling my fuckin’ boyfriend. Bastard held this information from me willingly.”

Finch and Crutchie watched him stalk away while holding the phone up to his ear. They distantly heard him scold David before he disappeared into the bedroom.

The couple looked back at each other for a split second before bursting out laughing.

“I’m glad he finally figured it out,” Finch mumbled, pressing a kiss to Crutchie’s forehead. The smaller boy smiled and nodded his head.

“Yeah. He ain’t the most observant, but I knew he would get it one day.”

“And if he didn’t?” Finch raised his eyebrow. Crutchie smiled and pulled him into the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

“He’d be very confused when I tell him I’m engaged.” Both men smiled wide, happy for a relationship and belief that this is the one.

[devilatelier]

Tagged by @knifeears knew i had to do it to em

Rules: answer 30 things about yourself and then tag blogs you’d like to get to know better!

Nickname:  xander, alex, 

Pronouns: he/him, 

Zodiac:  im an aquarius that should tell you how fucked up this shit gets like, its not even? a water sign?? its??? an air sign??? what’re you throwing out of the jar like,,, air??? that ALWAYS BUGGED ME FUCK AQUARIUS, BACKWARD -ASS LIL BUCKET BITCHES SHIT

Height:  every time i type up my height i get threats from short people so at this point i dont feel safe

Age: 26 im like 2 steps away from my golden years.

Time:  11:15 pm, i feel its like 5am already.

Favorite artist: this is such a hard question wtf, right now its kamelot bc its what ive been listening on repeat for the last week

Song stuck in my head: memento mori by kamelot

Last movie I saw:  i subjected my two friends to double down by neil breen it was magical

Last thing I googled:  idk but it was probably dubiously legal

Other blogs:  hahahhahahha next question

Do I get asks: i make a blood sacrifice for each one tbh so theyre pretty rare

Why I choose my url: as yall hostages probably already know, i love demons and angels so i draw them a lot BAM. there it is.

Following: holy shit i gotta open a new tab just for that im so lazy idk like 108 or something???

What I’m wearing:  im wearking nothing im just sitting here naked in the puerto rican wilderness i just saw a moth fly by

Dream job:  probably an illustrator

Dream trip:  get me out of here

Favorite food: eggs

Play any instruments:  i could play the spanish guitar 

Favorite song: dont do me like this 

Play(ed) any sports:  ok i chortled at this one like do i LOOK athletic to you?

Hair color: dark brown  almost black.

Languages you speak:  spanish and english

Random fact:  i can crack my neck so loud that it makes people leave my vicinity. 

Describe yourself with an aes: deep fried dank clown memes im not even kididng

i tag : fist me ( in the face)  for this

[sweetswampsnakes]

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? — Australia OR Salem MS 2. Do you wear any jewelry? If yes, what? —

Earrings and rings mostly!

3. How do you spell this word: Colour or color? — Color!

4. What is one stereotype about where you live (country)? — That we all are results of incest lol (I live in AL)

5. Do you sleep with your closet door closed or open? — closed bcs im paranoid…

6. What laptop/computer/phone do you use for tumblr? — My laptop or my phone lol

7. What makes you bored? — any kind of religious gatherings they last so long oml ( there’s nothing wrong with being religious! i just am not so things like church are really boring for me)

8. What is your favourite four legged creature and why? —Cows!Sheep!Cats!

9. If you could live in one fictional universe, what would that universe be?— StarsHollow from gilmore girls im not even kidding

10. Sweet or spicy? — Spicy bcs im an ethnic pos

11. What do you order from McDonalds? — The only time i go there is for breakfast every now and then and i get their bagel egg and cheese sandwich thing its so fucking GOOD

12. Favourite type of milkshake? — strawb or banana 

13. Curly fries or regular fries? — curly!

14. What was the weirdest text you have ever sent to someone? — “If you don’t answer me i’m going to pee myself” because i’m disgusting

15. What was your laziest moment? — often times after i lay down on my bed to go to sleep i forget to shut my door and i’m already so comfy i don’t want to get up so i will start throwing shit that’s next to me in an attempt to close it lol

16. Do you like rollercoasters? — YES BITCH YES

17. Last time you threw up? - uhh not long ago lol

18. Have you ever been catcalled? At what age? — yes but im uncomfortable talking about it

19. What was the best pasta you have ever eaten? — the pasta from cicis pizza because im disgusting

20. If you could make all pancakes into one shape, what shape would you choose? —  TRIANGLE 

21. If you were an animal, what animal would you be? — hmm people say I’d be a swan which is weird to me but i agree that id be some kind of poultry because i flail a lot and make weird honking and clucking noises

22. Are these questions weird? — Nah

23. What is the weirdest question in this tag? — idk

I tag @midnightroyale @selfhateandteacakes @nyxthemagicdragon @billiethebluedinosaur @shreddedpunkbitch @caladriius you dont have to do it tho dont feel pressured 

thank u @demolitionbucky or tagging me to do this!

[lapzoli]

100 This or That

I was tagged by @sabi138. Putting under a read more after number 10!

1. Coffee or tea? Coffee, but with a lot of sugar and cream.

2. Black and white or color? Depends.

3. Drawings or paintings? Paintings, especially watercolor!

4. Dresses or skirts?  Usually dresses.

5. Books or movies? Books!

6. Pepsi or Coke? Uh, coke

7. Chinese or Italian? Chinese

8. Early bird or night owl? Night owl 100% my sleep schedule is fucked

9. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate

10. Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

11. Hugs or kisses? Hugs because i’ve never been kissed

12. Hunting or fishing? neither

13. Winter or summer? summer

14. Spring or fall? fall

15. Rural or urban? um? idk

16. PC or Mac? is there a difference?

17. Tan or pale? idk??

18. Cake or pie? cake!!!!!! but i would take apple pie over cake

19. Ice cream or yogurt? Ice cream

20. Ketchup or mustard? Ketchup

21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? um dill pickles 

22. Comedy or mystery? comedy

23. Boots or sandals? sandals

24. Silver or gold? gold

25. Pop or Rock? i don’t know?

26. Dancing or singing? singing

27. Checkers or chess? neither

28. Board games or video games? video games

29. Wine or beer? i’ve only had wine so i can’t compare

30. Freckles or dimples? Freckles

31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? ew neither

32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? lifting weights

33. Baseball or basketball? neither

34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? crossword

35. Facial hair or clean shaven? Clean shaven but i do like a little stubble

36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? no ice

37. Skiing or snowboarding? neither

38. Smile or game face? game face

39. Bracelet or necklace? bracelet

40. Fruit or vegetables? Fruit

41. Sausage or bacon? it depends on the sausage

42. Scrambled or fried? if this is about eggs, scrambled.

43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? White Chocolate

44. Tattoos or piercings? tattoos

45. Antique or brand new? new

46. Dress up or dress down? Dress down

47. Cowboys or aliens? neither

48. Cats or dogs? cats but if the dog is smol and/or pudgy i am willing to be open minded

49. Pancakes or waffles? pancakes

50. Bond or Bourne? who’s bourne?

51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? fantasy

52. Numbers or letters? letters, math can kiss my ass

53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter.

54. Fair or theme park? Theme park

55. Money or fame? money because i am a materialistic bitch and i wanna give 500 dollar tips to every server i see

56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? laundry, just throw that shit in

57. Snakes or sharks? sharks but...from afar

58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange juice

59. Sunrise or sunset? sunset

60. Slacker or over-achiever? slacker lmao

61. Pen or pencil? pen

62. Peanut butter or jelly? jelly

63. Grammys or Oscars? is there a difference?

64. Detailed or abstract? Detailed

65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? essay 

66. Adventurous or cautious? Cautious

67. Saver or spender? spender because i have no self control

68. Glasses or contacts? Glasses b/c putting in contacts sucks and im not used to my face without glasses tbh it’s been over ten years

69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop

70. Classic or modern? Modern

71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? Personal chef

72. Internet or cell phone? Internet

73. Call or text? Text

74. Curly hair or straight hair? straight hair

75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? morning

76. Spicy or mild? is it white spicy or actual spicy? 

77. Marvel or DC? before wonder woman i would have said marvel but hella dc

78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent

79. Sky dive or bungee jump? neither

80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? chips ahoy

81. Jello or pudding? pudding!!

82. Truth or dare? truth

83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster!

84. Leather or denim? leather

85. Stripes or solids? solids

86. Bagels or muffins? bagels

87. Whole wheat or white? White

88. Beads or pearls? Pearls

89. Hardwood or carpet? carpet

90. Bright colors or neutral tones? Neutral tones for clothes, bright for wallpaper

91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? older so i can fast forward through this part of my life

92. Raisins or nuts? raisins

93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Restaurant

94. Black leather or brown leather? Black

95. Long hair or short hair? Long hair but i cut my hair short once to spite my grandmother cuz she thinks only old people can have short hair

96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? “Ready, aim, fire”

97. Fiction or non-fiction? Fiction

98. Smoking or non-smoking? Non-smoking

99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? yes

100. Asking questions or answering questions? asking

tagging @minii-moni @reborn-through-fire-made-of-gold @recklesssketches @gigiree @obbsessedturtle and whoever else

no one is obligated to do this